Daily Reformer: We tried to make it uplifting

Your Friday dance gif

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A sunny Friday and Friday means your dance gif below. 

I’m trying to stick with mostly uplifting news today, but it’s hard. 

I know Reformer readers are the smartest, only the best people, so I don’t have to tell you to ignore the president of the United States’ musings about injecting disinfectants or bringing UV rays “inside the body” to kill the coronavirus. 

Here’s your Larry David music version of Trump’s instantly infamous drink your Lysol advice. (My God: The company actually had to put out a statement saying don’t drink our products.) 

This Sarah Cooper pantomime version is even funnier

School’s out! (Alice Cooper live version here. Just a great rock song.)

Unfortunately Gov. Tim Walz’s announcement that students will continue distance learning for the remainder of the school year (Ricardo Lopez and Rilyn Eischens reporting) is bad news for parents, but also for children who are poorand will likely experience even greater educational disparities than usual. 

Rilyn has a deeply reported story on how distance learning is likely exacerbating what had been Minnesota’s most pressing problem before COVID-19 — the achievement gap. 

Our skilled intern Madeline Deninger noticed that one group of restaurants was strangely left out of the takeout beer and win bill: Breweries. So, for instance, Surly can sell takeout food but not their own beer. It’s bound up with the longstanding lobbying clash between the old liquor establishment and the breweries. Here’s her story

Huge demand for rental assistance in Saint Paul and Minneapolis, Max Nesterak reports. This far outstrips avail $$. State needs to step in, and the feds need to send money to the states. 

ICYMI: Aaron Brown’s elegant study of the vicissitudes of the Iron Range economy

2,600 furloughed at HealthPartners: Strib. But the Strib also reports that Walz’s easing on some job categories could put another 80,000 to 100,000 back to work in manufacturing and offices that aren’t customer facing. Of course, demand for nearly everything has collapsed, so….

A nation of shopkeepers no more: Retailing was already ailing before COVID-19 and now a UBS analyst says we could lose 100,000 retailers by 2025, with big (like Target and of course) getting bigger: USAToday.

Meat shortages coming

The small business rescue program seems scammier all the time; WSJ reports the hotelier that is receiving the most money of any public company laid off nearly all its workers and stopped making debt payments but at the same time paid shareholders dividends. As we shared yesterday, the Times reported that the biggest banks were helping their richest customers get the funds and ignoring everyone else. Democrats are suspicious about whether red and rural areas are doing better than urban and blue areas. 

(Editor’s note: I thought you said today would be uplifting?!)

OK OK OK. 

Here’s a nice piece about how COVID-19 is forcing millions of Americans to do something they should do more of: Cook at home and enjoy family meals. 

John Krasinski (meh) has this thing called Some Good News during the pandemic and if you can wade through the first 10 minutes of cheese (or just go ahead to 10 minutes in) you’ll see a heartwarming bit with Big Papi David Ortiz about Boston health care heroes and the Red Sox. 

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Have a great weekend y’all. JPC